Saturday, February 05, 2005

Being a Dick over Email

So I read this in the best of craigslist postings.

And I really just felt obligated to send its author the following email:

Hey I just wanted to tell you that that Men's Personal Ads Compared to Women's Ads post really sucks. I mean, I know you can't help it that what you wrote sucks, cause if you could've written something better you probably would have. And I'm sure you're a nice person and all, maybe a little dumber than most, but being dumb's not a sin. And you're a lot less creative and funny than you think you are. Again, that's not a sin, either. But man that post really really sucked. I rarely bother to tell people that. But you're a special case. Good luck in life. I'm sure you make some decent jack working in business somewhere in one way or another making sure much richer people get to keep their money, so you got that going for you. So, you know, keep your head up. And Don't worry too much that your post sucks.

His response:

“yes, click on the "best of cl" it's there....thanks for the hate mail skippy”

My response:

Really toots, what's that supposed to prove? It wasn't hate mail. It was constructive advice. And don't call me skippy.

His response:

ok preston (aka SKIPPY)....did u get the piss beat out of you a lot
with a name like that??? and why does my posting strike such a nerve
with you that you felt compelled to respond in such a hateful ,angry,
defensive manner ? do you need a hug skippy???

My response (this email kept getting bounced back so I think he blocked my email address, so I just switched to a different account and sent it from there):

I'm the one that seems to have touched a nerve lady. I was just trying to let you know that your post sucked. But that's okay. Sucking is not a sin. But you follow up my email with the name calling and the anger. That's not very mature.

Do I need a hug? If you're asking me because you want me to hold you in my muscular arms, brush the hair back from your face, and reassure you that you're still a wonderful, unique, and beautiful individual, even though your post sucks, well okay, maybe I can oblige you. But if you're asking me if I NEED a hug, well, the answer is no, not particularly. But I never turn down hugs. So I'll still give you one.

His response:

Dude you are a freak. I am a guy. The posting is SATIRE ! It is a
knock on woman's postings. UGHHH.... I know you can't be that stupid.
Click on the "Best of Craigslist" from the mainpage and you will see
an earlier version posted that most CL readers thought was hysterical
and most understood was SATIRE !!!! I love the internet - ughhhh.

My response:

Oh now I totally get it. Man I was so wrong. So that's what SATIRE looks like huh? Wow, you totally deserve to be on the "Best of Craigslist" for that post. I'm sorry.

I hope that made you feel better so that you can stop harassing me over email. I just want to remind you, it's okay that your post sucks.

Un-fucking-believably he responds:

are you on meds ? i am "harrassing" you ? are the one that
sent that oh-so-nice initial email you jackass....then you think i am
a woman....preston ,skippy, whoever you are get some therapy, double
up the meds or something....i am amazed people like you actually are
able to function....go "harass" someone else skippy......

I almost don’t want to bother, but here goes:

Listen, my mental health is not on trial here. And face it, you write like a woman. Now I'm sorry that your post sucks. And I'm sorry that you refuse to accept that. I've been trying to help you realize that you're still a good person. But there's only so much I can do here. Now I suggest you calm down, look deep inside yourself, and give yourself permission to write really sucky posts, that other really lame people will vote as best of craigslist. Good luck my friend.

Then he merely forwarded this email back to me without responding, which I’ll admit confused me. So Kudos to you shitty Craig’s List poster. You’ve, in some way, one-upped me.


At 4:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very funny. Good job and keep up the good work.


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